2024 has been a rough year. In the last six months, I've experienced a major reset across every pillar of my life (family, work, community, and health). Some of these things were self inflicted, others karmic retribution from prior lifetimes.
I'm only now starting to come out of an extended period of soul searching. While there are many things I'm still working through, the following are some lessons that have crystalized in the interim.
Most things are not worth holding on to. Expectations. Identities. Regrets. I make a special carve out for grievances. Holding on to them is like gripping tightly on to a spiked ball. The tighter you hold, the more pain you inflict on yourself.
Some things might have had good reasons to hold on in the beginning. Goals. Behaviors. Relationships. But things change. Circumstances. Context. Understanding. What served before might no longer do so today. When you are too preoccupied holding onto things that no longer serve you, you rob yourself of the chance to find the things that you need in the present.
Should have. Could have. Would have. These thoughts pop up when reality is not what we want it to be. But fighting reality is generally a recipe for sadness. Things happen but it's usually the rumination on them that causes suffering.
Everything is information. Not good or bad. Take what you can from it and use it as a lesson for the future.
Do the former. Avoid the latter.
Towards gives you a direction to strive for. Away sets you adrift in a wilderness. Towards gives a focus for your life energy. Away expends it in all direction. Towards gives purpose. Away takes it away. Towards builds you up. Away tears you down.
In life, you never have all the information.
You make the best decision you can with what you have. And then you stay the course. If new information comes along that changes the basis of that original decision, then you evaluate.
The key is making a decision. And moving forward. Even when it is hard.
The worst place to be is a place of paralysis. To not decide. To live with the consequences of all possible outcomes and bear the weight of them until you break down from the stress.
Unless you decide to be a monk and take a vow of silence, you can never underinvest in communication.
It's not about what you're saying. It's about what the other person is hearing. And what they need.
Having a chip on your shoulder can be helpful in achieving worldly success but it comes at the cost of personal happiness.
You can't live life by ignoring your own needs.
Life is richer with other humans. Find exceptional people, involve them in what you're doing, and trust that they will come through.
Created 2025-02-02T20:27:25.707000, updated 2025-02-02T20:28:50.539000 · History · Edit