Crucial Conversations
Metadata
- Title: Crucial Conversations
- Authors: Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Joseph Grenny, Al Switzler
Review
Crucial Conversation is a fitting if generic title for what I refer to as the bible of human communications.
Unless you live in cave and sworn off human contact, your life will involve communicating with other people. Between what is in your head and heart to how it comes out of your mouth to what the other person hears and how it is translated by their thoughts and feelings are many worlds of distance. Add more people in this mix and the problem grows combinatorial. Given the challenges, its a wonder that we hear each other at all.
This books is focused on a specific subset of conversations deemed crucial: that is when stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions are strong. It teaches you how to identify that you are in a crucial conversation and goes over successful tactics to navigate through it. Most of the times these conversations fail is because the conversation no longer feels "safe" and strong emotions on both sides get in the way of hearing one another. Crucial conversations is not necessary about "winning" the conversation but rather being able to clearly communicate your point of view while preserving safety and not triggering emotions.
To this end, Crucial Conversations gives precise actionable steps with handy acronyms that anyone can implement and can work in any context. I refer back to this book multiple times a year for both personal and business matters and it has saved me (and my relationships) on countless occasions. If you care at all about interfacing with other humans, do yourself a favor and read this book.
Takeaways
- crucial conversations happen when emotions are strong, opinions differ, and stakes are high
- determine your motives and establish shared pool of meaning
- notice when it is no longer safe
- STATE: share a fact, tell a stroy, ask for other paths, talk tentatively, encourage testing
- use contrasting, look for safety, watch for own feelings
- AMPP: ask, mirror, paraphrase, prime
- ABC: agree, build, compare
- notice if your in dialogue and point it out if not
- always establish safety
Related
Created 2024-07-18T23:01:22.990000, updated 2024-07-18T23:02:23.517000 · History · Edit